Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] It's good to see so many visitors here today. I'm Ludwig.
[00:00:04] Come say hi if I haven't said hello yet.
[00:00:09] So I'm one of the elders here at Gospel Central, married to Desiree, and I've got two kids, 14 and 16.
[00:00:16] We're going to start the story today in Matthew 6. I'd like to. So right in the middle of Jesus, one of his most famous sermons, which is the Sermon on the Mount, there's this section that he talks about praying. So if we can maybe pray this. So this is Jesus. He's saying, this is how I'd like you guys to pray. So let's pray this together.
[00:00:42] Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
[00:00:46] Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
[00:00:51] Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts, as we have also forgiven our debtors.
[00:01:00] Sure.
[00:01:01] What a prayer. Hey, what a prayer. Forgive us our debts, as we have also forgiven our debtors. So this reminds me of an urban legend that we had in Mossa Bay. So I grew up in this tiny little fishing town, Mosso Bay.
[00:01:15] And the urban legend was this. There was a guy, he was working. A young guy arrives home in his little apartment next to the sea. And he gets into his bathroom, and there's an octopus in his bath.
[00:01:29] And firstly, this is fun. So he fills it up with water and he plays with his octopus. And then the octopus grows up, and he's now trying to get rid of this thing.
[00:01:38] And he can't get rid of the octopus. He takes the water out the bath, and then he phones the aquarium. The local aquarium guy says, how do I get rid of this octopus in the bath? Because if I manage to just get one of the tentacles loose, the other tentacle holds onto it. So the guy goes, it's super easy.
[00:01:57] If you struggle, phone me, but just use a spade. If you use a spade, it'll be easy to get the octopus out.
[00:02:02] So it's like, okay, so the artist still gets a spade. And now he walks into this bathroom, and now that octopus. Because now they've already wrestled, right? So the octopus is sitting on the side of the bath watching him.
[00:02:16] And he's like, okay. So he uses the spade, and he gets it underneath the tentacle, underneath the second tentacle, and the octopus holding on with his other six legs, and it's just an hour wrestle. Just as he gets three arms loose, then another five holds on, and he phones the aquarium. The guy back, he says, dude, whatever you think, it's not working. You better come help me. So he says, okay, it's super easy. Let me show you. So the owner of the aquarium arrives. He takes the spade.
[00:02:45] He says, oh, I know this octopus.
[00:02:49] He's like, in everyone's bathrooms. He's like, so watch this. So he walks in and he gets the spade and he watches the octopus. They make eye contact and he walks and he lifts up the spade.
[00:02:59] And as he lifts up the spade, the octopus uses all ate its tentacles to hold its head. And he just like scoops it up and throws it into the little bucket.
[00:03:12] So this octopus in our analogy is called unforgiveness.
[00:03:20] Just so that the analogy becomes clear as we.
[00:03:24] So what's cool about this is that if you've been a Christian for a while, we realize that Jesus takes forgiveness and unforgiveness very seriously.
[00:03:38] To the point where it's easier if I disciple someone for them to confess any other sin than unforgiveness. They'll confess things that they haven't even done before they confess anything about unforgiveness. So if someone's having, if they ugly to their family, if they're having an affair, if they're looking at dodgy things on the Internet, they'll confess that much sooner than they'll confess unforgiveness.
[00:04:06] And I think that made me quite cautious when I. So I was having my quiet time, I felt convicted to share on unforgiveness. I'm like, please Lord, let me preach on anything else other than unforgiveness, because this is quite a.
[00:04:21] Quite a fiery topic. So if you get stirred up in this conversation, just know that it's not on purpose.
[00:04:32] Please have some grace for me.
[00:04:40] So maybe before we start, can we close our eyes?
[00:04:45] Lord, will you send your spirit? He's already here. But will you come and will your spirit come and come and speak to us today? Will you make it obvious if there's a person that falls in this category for us, if there's somebody that we needing to extend forgiveness to, will you bring that face to mind right now?
[00:05:13] And then.
[00:05:18] You say that where we are gathered, there you are, and we in your authority. I want to rebuke any, any demonic voice or stronghold that's holding people captive in this moment, that is holding them from being able to live out in the freedom of forgiveness.
[00:05:33] In the name of Jesus, we rebuke that voice.
[00:05:37] Amen.
[00:05:38] Can you drop my volume a little bit so that I can speak passionately without being self conscious?
[00:05:46] Thank you.
[00:05:49] So as Christians, we are Very gifted at wriggling out of things. So, for example, when I talk to someone and it's.
[00:05:59] I can see unforgiveness in their heart.
[00:06:02] They would say stuff like, it's not really unforgiveness, it's just.
[00:06:06] It's just hurt.
[00:06:08] It's not unforgiveness. It's just. I'm just offended a little bit.
[00:06:13] It's not unforgiveness.
[00:06:15] It's just.
[00:06:18] I'm just. I just cut them out of my life because they keep hurting me. It's not unforgiveness. It's just a boundary.
[00:06:25] And so what we do is we reframe something that the Bible says labels as unforgiveness to kind of wriggle out of the consequence thereof. Because Jesus says, you better get rid of this octopus in your life. And you're like, but I can't. So I relabel it as something else to let myself off the hook so that I don't have to deal with it.
[00:06:47] And so what I thought we would start with is if we can just define unforgiveness, we can use some scripture to say, how does the Bible define unforgiveness? So Ephesians 4, 31.
[00:06:59] I'll just read it. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice.
[00:07:08] Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
[00:07:17] So let me translate that into our.
[00:07:20] Our modern language. So bitterness is the lingering poison left behind by being wronged.
[00:07:30] So we would call that past hurt.
[00:07:33] We would call that church hurt. If I'm allowed to say that, resentment.
[00:07:43] So this verse is saying, let all resentment and bitterness and past hurt.
[00:07:51] They say the antidote to that is forgiveness, wrath, and anger.
[00:07:58] If you.
[00:08:00] The face that came to mind when I prayed my first prayer, if there's an anger or an upset that comes up at that person, if it wasn't this morning, if it was older than this morning, then that is a sign of that it needs to be dealt with through forgiveness.
[00:08:19] Clamor is angry shouting. That's obvious. One slander. So the way that we would describe that is destructive language or venting or subtle digging at that person.
[00:08:33] She's just like that.
[00:08:37] And then malice, um, malice is if the person that I hear that, that comes up in mind if, if he's. If he's lost his job and I'm like, yeah, that makes sense. He lost his job. Why? Because I know him. He's the kind of guy that loses his job. He's the kind of guy that gets in trouble.
[00:08:59] And so it. It opposes. It's juxtaposes, I think, is the word. It's with kindness, where if I hear of somebody that loses their job and I'm like, oh, man, my heart goes out for him. Like, they've got a family to feed, They've got bills to pay.
[00:09:16] So it's juxtaposing malice with kindness. So if any of these things. Can I get, like, nods? Is this landing with people?
[00:09:27] Okay, how many people had a face that came up for them? Would you mind being brave and putting your hand up if you had a face come up for you?
[00:09:40] How many of you are too scared to put up your hand? But also a face came up for you.
[00:09:48] I see that hand.
[00:09:53] Okay, so the two tests.
[00:09:55] If you're upset at someone because of something that they've done to you, Or if something bad happens to a person and your response is not one of compassion, then that's the signs that you're looking for. Then we need to get rid of this octopus.
[00:10:18] And so forgiveness in this context means to freely forgive, to release, to cancel the debt of that person.
[00:10:32] Because of the grace that you get from the Lord. So that's the. That's the definition of working towards. So let's do Hebrews 12, 15.
[00:10:42] See that no one fails to obtain the grace of God because that root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble.
[00:10:50] And by it many become defiled.
[00:10:53] So this is actually quite hectic because the root of bitterness that it's describing is that if you.
[00:10:59] In modern psychology, we talk about.
[00:11:02] It's my trauma from my past, right?
[00:11:05] So it is saying that that trauma.
[00:11:09] It's saying that that is the root of bitterness in your life that the Lord wants to get rid of.
[00:11:14] And if you don't do it, it says it causes trouble. So the analogy here is if you have this beautiful lake that's like pristine water, and you have a sewerage pipe dumping raw sewage into this pristine.
[00:11:31] That root of bitterness is the thing that it essentially creates a toxic environment for you, for your family, for everyone around you.
[00:11:45] And so what we'll come back to later is what is the mechanism through which we get this octopus out? That when you call a friend to come hit it with a spade, that's the first part of this verse. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God.
[00:12:04] So there's a. Call a friend, say, God, I'm not able to do this. You're going to need to come help me. And he says, don't worry, I got this.
[00:12:11] I've got a spade. Let me come and help you.
[00:12:16] So then, defining unforgiveness here it is the refusal to release somebody from the debt that they owe you.
[00:12:25] And you want to make the insistence that they pay you back.
[00:12:30] So it's the refusal to let go of the debt and the insistence that they pay you back.
[00:12:35] And so that paying back is quite interesting because it's like they can pay you back by either they must suffer a little bit first or they must be humiliated, or you want some revenge, potentially making them earn back your goodwill. Or it could be even a little bit more subtle of going, I can't forgive this person because they haven't come to say so sorry yet.
[00:12:58] They haven't. Even though they've said sorry, they haven't changed their ways.
[00:13:05] Yeah, what's interesting about the. The way that the Bible positions us is that it doesn't. That forgiveness of somebody is not.
[00:13:16] There's no requirement for someone to have to say sorry.
[00:13:20] There's no requirement for someone to have to repent or change their ways.
[00:13:32] So as a.
[00:13:35] As just a moment of an. Almost like an interlude, let's close our eyes and we look at this face that came up for us of the person that.
[00:13:45] That's upsetting us.
[00:13:48] And I want you to tell me, or to tell yourself at least, why it is that you are struggling to forgive this person.
[00:13:59] Because those things that are the struggle will be the tentacles that hold on in the bath just so that we can. For yourself to know what to take to the Lord so that the normal things are. That come up quite often is if I forgive them, then they're going to get away with it.
[00:14:20] If I forgive them, they will keep doing it.
[00:14:25] If I forgive them, then that means that I condone the thing that's been done towards me.
[00:14:33] If I forgive them, it'll invalidate the pain that I'm feeling.
[00:14:40] If I forgive them, I might have to stop feeling sorry for myself.
[00:14:48] Or maybe even as simple as they don't deserve to be let off the hook for this.
[00:14:54] So the one thing that the Lord needs from us in order to set us free is our honesty.
[00:15:02] So there's obviously there's two parts in our heart. There's the part of us that look like Jesus, and then there's the part of us that doesn't yet look like Jesus.
[00:15:12] So the question is that part of us that doesn't yet look like Jesus, what is the excuse that you are using to refuse to give forgiveness to this person.
[00:15:32] So when the disciples came to Jesus and they said, lord, how.
[00:15:38] How many times must I forgive this person that has wronged me, this person that has hurt me? How many times must I. Seven times.
[00:15:48] And then Jesus says, well, 70 times seven.
[00:15:56] So when you ask Jesus, how many times must I forgive this person that has hurt me, 70 times 7.
[00:16:04] And then he gives this analogy. He says that there was the kingdom of God is like a king that decided one day to balance his books. So he asked his accountant, send me the people that still owe me money.
[00:16:21] And then I arrived, and he says, you owe me so much money, you've been wicked since the day you were born.
[00:16:32] I'm paraphrasing now.
[00:16:35] He's saying, you've been wicked. How many times have you lied?
[00:16:40] How many times have you taken something that wasn't yours? How many times have you looked at something that you shouldn't have? How many times have you mistreated somebody?
[00:16:49] How big is the debt that I have accrued over a lifetime of wickedness and sinfulness? How many people have I hurt?
[00:17:00] And then he adds up all of the debt, and it comes to an insurmountable amount of money that I'll never in my life be able to repay.
[00:17:13] And this king then says, okay, I'm going to sell you.
[00:17:18] I'm going to sell your wife, I'm going to sell your kids. I'm going to sell everything you own to try and repay back the debt.
[00:17:29] And then the guy in the story falls on his knees and he says, lord, have mercy on me because I'm a wicked sinner.
[00:17:38] And then the king has mercy on the guy. He says, you know what? I will set you free of all of the debt that you've accrued against me.
[00:17:48] And so he walks out joyful, happy. He says, thank you. I've been set free. I have no debt in the world. And then he finds his little we now that owes him $15. And he grabs him by the throat and he says, you owe me $15.
[00:18:04] And he goes, I. I can't pay it. And it says here.
[00:18:09] What does it say? I don't want to make this.
[00:18:21] And since he could not pay his master. Oh, wait, where am I? Sorry.
[00:18:29] So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, let's go back one verse, please.
[00:18:38] And he began to choke him. There we go.
[00:18:43] 29, please.
[00:18:47] Verse 29. So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, have patience with me, and I will pay you.
[00:18:55] And he refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
[00:19:01] And when the fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed and they went and reported to the master all that had taken place.
[00:19:12] Then his master summoned him and said to him, you wicked servants, I forgave you all the debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I have had mercy on you?
[00:19:29] And in anger, his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt.
[00:19:34] And so also my heavenly father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.
[00:19:42] So in the context of this story, How good does your excuse sound?
[00:19:53] I can't forgive this person because, Lord, will you. Will you in this moment come in and bring your grace around forgiveness into each of our hearts?
[00:20:26] So is there anyone that feels like they would. That they would like to respond to that in terms of forgiving someone, Would you mind raising your hand if there's somebody that you. We're not. You don't have to go. We're not going to go into detail.
[00:20:42] It's just an act of surrender, saying, there's a person whose name came up and I feel like I need to forgive that person.
[00:21:02] Let me ask you, for those that raise their hands, is there a part of you that when.
[00:21:09] When I say you need to forgive this person, that there's almost like a resistance, an allergy of saying that I don't want to.
[00:21:17] Would you be honest and raise your hand if you feel that?
[00:21:29] Lord, I want to pray specifically for those hands that went up.
[00:21:35] Will you come give your grace? Even as I'm praying, will you come and bring your truth to the situation?
[00:22:12] So for those that raised their hands with finding it hard, how many of you felt just a quick thought? It's almost like the still small voice, just a quick passing thought about this person that you're wanting to forgive but can't.
[00:22:33] Anyone else.
[00:22:38] So the thing about forgiving people is that we often need a miracle. God is asking us to do something that is impossible.
[00:22:46] He's asking you to forgive.
[00:22:48] And it's the same as the story we told two weeks ago about the. The boy with the. With the loaves and the fishes. We arrives and Jesus goes, how are we going to solve this problem?
[00:23:00] And then Jesus does a miracle. Jesus does the multiplication. Jesus does the feeding of the 5,000 in the same way that he does the miracle to feed the thousands. He's the one that can do the miracle to give us the grace to be able to forgive other people.
[00:23:17] And the only thing that he needs from us to do that is for us to be honest with him. To say this is. I'm finding this hard because of this reason.
[00:23:27] And then a surrender, which basically means, will you tell me how to see this?
[00:23:33] Will you show me how to see this in a different way? That. So if you want to, you can pray that in quietly now, while. While I. And then we'll come back to you.
[00:23:44] There's also.
[00:23:45] Is there anyone here that is still that hasn't yet been forgiven, yet that feels like they're in this. In this story, in front of this king, face to face with the wickedness of their life, and they haven't received mercy yet?
[00:24:02] Is there anyone that would like to have mercy today?
[00:24:19] And so for the people that would like mercy today, there's.
[00:24:24] The prayer is just this, lord, I'm sorry. Please have mercy on me.
[00:24:33] It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that.
[00:24:39] Lord, I pray even as I'm speaking that you will come and reveal yourself.
[00:24:44] Those that prayed that prayer, that you will come and make your presence real for them, that they will experience the true king that you are.
[00:24:53] And then the last thing, those that would like to forgive somebody, would you mind raising your hands.
[00:25:19] So you can pray inside? You don't have to pray out loud, but you can pray the following.
[00:25:24] Say, lord, I choose to forgive.
[00:25:27] And then give the name, this person.
[00:25:31] I choose to forgive them. And then you list all the things that come up in your mind's eye of what they have done to hurt you.
[00:25:41] And be specific. So if they kicked you in the shin, say, I choose to forgive them for kicking me in the shin.
[00:25:51] And go through the list. I choose to forgive them for this, choose to forgive them for that.
[00:26:15] And then when you're done with that, you pray and you say, lord, I will no longer hold this against that person.
[00:26:40] And then the last part, I want you to pray a blessing over them.
[00:26:47] Ask God to bless them and to have mercy on them.
[00:27:10] Yeah, Lord, I wouldn't. I want to come alongside each person here that has released this to you today.
[00:27:21] You say that whatever we bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
[00:27:29] And so I want to, in your name, in your authority, I want to declare freedom over each person that was able to forgive today.
[00:27:36] I pray that today will be a start of a new life with new interactions, with a new way of thinking and a new freedom.
[00:27:49] We want to declare them free. In your name and also in your name. We want to rebuke any voice that is not of you, that wants to hold people, captivate.
[00:28:02] These people here belong to the Lord. They do not belong to the demonic. And in the name of Jesus, we break every chain that binds people in.
[00:28:12] In this thought pattern of unforgiveness. And we declare them free and able to forgive. In Jesus name, I pray that today will be the first day. That from today it will be a different interaction with these people.
[00:28:26] That you will bring breakthrough in relationships, breakthrough in pain, leaving. And that we can live in freedom. That when we see these people, that it will be that we'll see them the way that you see them and not the way that we see them.
[00:28:54] Yeah. Amen.
